OH WE ARE ABOUT TO MAKE THE RACCOONS LOSE THEIR ENTIRE LITTLE MINDS. 🦝💀🚨
🛸💜🚨 NEW HAVEN, CT. DROP THE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN. CANCEL YOUR LITTLE SIDE QUEST. THE RACCOONS HAVE ENTERED HUMAN RESOURCES. 🚨💜🛸
📡📡📡 EMERGENCY BROADCAST FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF SILLY LITTLE GUYS WITH CLIPBOARDS:
WE. ARE. HIRING. A. BEHAVIOR. TECHNICIAN. 🧍♀️🧍♂️🧠💥
🚨 NOT A DRILL. 🚨 NOT A CULT. 🚨 PROBABLY NOT AN ALIEN EXPERIMENT. 🚨 DEFINITELY AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
NEW HAVEN, WE NEED A CERTIFIED BADASS OF PATIENCE. A PROFESSIONAL PLAYGROUND DIPLOMAT. A TINY-HUMAN HYPE PERSON. A LEGEND WHO CAN CELEBRATE SOMEONE LEARNING A NEW SKILL LIKE THEY JUST DISCOVERED FIRE. 🔥🦖🎉
💰💰💰 $22–$30 AN HOUR. 💰💰💰
HELLO?????
YOUR BANK ACCOUNT JUST DID A BACKFLIP OFF THE CEILING FAN. 💸🦅
Your wallet whispered, "Perhaps we shall know peace."
Your unpaid bills are suddenly looking at you with RESPECT. 😭💅
📍 NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT.
YES, YOU CAN LIVE HERE. YES, WE ARE HIRING HERE. YES, THE RACCOONS HAVE VERIFIED THE ZIP CODE. 🦝📍
🧠💥 SO WHAT DO BEHAVIOR TECHNICIANS ACTUALLY DO?
🎲 PLAY GAMES. But make it PROFESSIONAL. We're talking learning through play, building skills, and making progress while having fun. Basically, Mario Party with a PURPOSE. 🎮🧩
🧠 HELP KIDS LEARN IMPORTANT SKILLS. We are NOT assigning homework from the Ninth Circle of Hell. We are making learning engaging, supportive, and meaningful. SATAN HAS BEEN ASKED TO LEAVE THE CLASSROOM. 😭🔥
🎉 CELEBRATE THE LITTLE WINS. New skill? WE SCREAM. Progress? WE CHEER. A breakthrough? SOMEBODY GET THE CONFETTI CANNON AND ALERT THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION. 🎊🚀
💜 HELP A CHILD GROW. Build confidence. Encourage independence. Support communication and everyday skills. Make a genuine difference in a child's life.
THE WORK IS MEANINGFUL. THE IMPACT IS REAL. THE RACCOONS ARE EMOTIONALLY INVESTED. 🥹🦝💜
👽🚨 WHO ARE WE TRYING TO ABDUCT—SORRY, RECRUIT???
🦄 THE PATIENT ONE. You understand that progress takes time and everyone learns differently.
🎭 THE SILLY ONE. You can make learning fun without needing a Broadway contract or a fog machine.
🧸 THE KID PERSON. You enjoy working with children and want to help them thrive.
🧠 THE RESPONSIBLE CHAOS GREMLIN. You bring energy, kindness, reliability, and the ability to follow a plan even when the vibes are VIBRATING.
✨ ABA EXPERIENCE OR RBT CERTIFICATION? WE LOVE THAT FOR YOU. 💅
✨ NEW TO ABA? DON'T THROW YOURSELF INTO THE SUN JUST YET. Training and guidance may be available for the right person!
🚨🚨🚨 THE PLOT HAS THICKENED TO THE CONSISTENCY OF GAS STATION NACHO CHEESE. 🚨🚨🚨
WE WANT SOMEONE TO JOIN US ASAP.
Not in a "we are hiding in your walls" way. 😭
Not in a "three raccoons in a trench coat have been tracking your movements" way. 🦝🦝🦝🧥
In a "HEY, YOU SEEM LIKE A GOOD HUMAN AND WE HAVE AN AWESOME OPPORTUNITY" kind of way.
💥💜 THE PERKS. THE GLORY. THE REASON YOUR GROUP CHAT NEEDS TO HEAR ABOUT THIS. 💜💥
💵 $22–$30 per hour because capitalism has entered the chat.
🎯 Meaningful one-on-one work because YOU can make a difference.
🎲 Play-based learning because learning doesn't have to feel like being trapped in a 900-page textbook written by a haunted Victorian ghost.
💜 The chance to help children build skills, confidence, and independence.
🦝 The knowledge that somewhere out there, a raccoon in a tiny HR vest believes in you.
📣📣📣 NEW HAVEN, WE SUMMON THE KIND HUMANS.
THE FUN HUMANS. THE PATIENT HUMANS. THE "I CAN EXPLAIN THIS FIVE DIFFERENT WAYS AND STILL BE NICE ABOUT IT" HUMANS. THE SLIGHTLY UNHINGED BUT EXTREMELY RESPONSIBLE HUMANS.
WE WANT YOU. 💜🚀
📩 MESSAGE ME TODAY IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!
COME HELP A CHILD GROW. COME MAKE A DIFFERENCE. COME GET PAID $22–$30 AN HOUR. COME GIVE THE RACCOONS SOMETHING POSITIVE TO PUT IN THEIR PERFORMANCE REVIEW. 🦝📋✨
THE RACCOONS ARE UNPAID MARKETING INTERNS.
They have no dental insurance, no 401(k), and one of them has been eating the office printer paper.
PLEASE RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME. 😭💀🦝
💜🛸 BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN. NEW HAVEN, CT. APPLY BEFORE THE RACCOONS UNIONIZE. 🛸💜