🚨🚨🚨 ATTENTION ALL BEHAVIOR TECHS. DROP YOUR COFFEE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 🚨🚨🚨
🌪️🦸♂️ A CASE HAS APPEARED. THE PROPHECY IS REAL. 🦸♀️🌪️
Scientists (we asked one) confirm this is the most exciting case in the history of cases. 🔬
📍 WHERE: Putnam Valley, NY 10579 🗺️
🏠 SETTING: In-home
🕘 WHEN: Mornings, 9 AM to 2 PM ☀️ (yes, you can be asleep for the entire evening shift)
📆 HOW MUCH: 25 hours per week
💰 PAY: So good your wallet might need therapy to process it
👶 MEET YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND/NEMESIS/CHAOS GOBLIN:
🎂 Age: 4 years old
🧑 Gender: Male
🗣️ Language: English-speaking, and he will use it. At length. ☕
🧑⚕️ YOUR BCBA: Supporting you virtually. Supportive, responsible, and basically your professional guardian angel, just through a screen. 😇💻
🤪 YOU MIGHT BE THE ONE IF:
✅ You’ve stayed calm while a small human explained why socks are a lie
✅ You can turn “NO!” into “okay, fine, let’s do it” faster than a magician pulls a rabbit 🐇🎩
✅ You believe data collection is a love language 📊❤️
✅ You have snacks, stickers, and the unshakeable confidence of a gladiator 🏛️
✅ Your poker face could win in Vegas 🃏
🎁 PERKS:
💎 Real impact on a real kid’s life
🛡️ Backed by LBAPS National
🌅 Mornings on the job, afternoons all yours
🎢 Stories for every family dinner for the next 10 years
🏆 Bragging rights. Legendary ones.
⏳ Cases like this vanish faster than pizza at a staff meeting. 🍕💨
📲 TO APPLY: WhatsApp me NOW with your resume, availability, and hourly pay expectation. 🚀
Destiny called. It left a voicemail. It said “25 hours a week.” ☎️🔥